Thinking of You, Wherever You Are
by LatteJazz
Summary: Kairi's other letter. xOneshotx


Thinking of you, wherever you are

Thinking of you, wherever you are

And hoping you're thinking of me.

It's been a while since last I saw you,

Heard your voice, or said your name.

Days come and go, thoughts leave and stay

I try to keep hoping and waiting.

Watching the horizon for a familiar face--

Ever thinking, and ever waiting.

With each passing day, my memories fade

They're hazy, clouded—

Drifting away.

And I'm sorry.

I've found that people are always changing,

They can't stay the same forever.

Hearts shift and sway, they bend and break.

They forget. They replace.

I'm missing you,

Yet something's not right.

_I'm missing you_.

It's more like a thought than a feeling.

I can't feel anything anymore

The numbness used to scare me.

In life we each have a path.

Were ours truly destined to meet?

Lingering so long here, on the shores of the sea

Each day the flower of faith inside me

Dies a little.

I struggle to keep believing.

_I'm missing you._

It's not right.

_I'm missing you_.

It's a thought. Not a feeling.

_Sora scanned the letter, blue eyes inundated with its pensive words. He had accidently stumbled upon the poem while searching for a trivial item in Kairi's room, and as he read he almost wished he hadn't. There was no doubt about its recipient—himself. His name was scrawled on the envelope, as if its contents were not enough to distinguish the addressee._

_It took several moments for him to make sense of it. And when he did grasp its meaning, a pang of remorse and guilt followed with it._

_Despite efforts to justify himself—he had no control over Kairi's feelings, after all—he blamed himself at least partially. He could have sought to return home more quickly; he could have used what few moments they had together to assure her of his care for her. But he had been blind her needs, consumed instead with an ardor for adventure, conquest, and new worlds—new faces. Why had he not realized that the most important thing of all was right before him?_

_And, even as the wave of guilt washed through him, a twinge of anger flickered behind. For so long he had fought his way toward her and even sacrificed everything he was for her, and yet she doubted his intentions? She had forgotten him?_

_"Sora?"_

_Sora startled and turned to see Kairi standing in the doorway, the traces of a smile vanishing from her lips as she saw the paper in his hand._

_"You've never…mentioned this to me," Sora managed to say, gesturing to the letter._

_"I didn't mean for… You weren't supposed to read that."_

_"Kairi, I had no idea. Why didn't you say anything? I don't under—" _

_She stepped forward and snatched the letter from his hand, crumpling it suddenly in one fist. "I don't want to talk about it," she replied in a knotted tone. For a second through the veil of her hair, Sora caught a glimpse of shimmering water in her eyes. And then she had left, fleeting footsteps sounding down the stairs._

_Sora didn't see her the rest of the day. Not that he hadn't looked—he had, just not as extensively as possible. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but Kairi wasn't the only one who needed space. The more he thought of the poem, the more frustrated he became; so to throw those thoughts aside meant to avoid dealing with his feelings. He reassured himself that come tomorrow, things would be as though nothing had happened. It wasn't necessary to work things out with words; and Kairi always came around in the end._

_But Sora had never been that good of a liar, and simply imagining things better never accomplishes anything._

_That evening he found himself restless and still troubled—not for his sake, but hers. The last rays of the setting sun cast a warm, orange glow through his window. Its view revealed ocean waters of a matching hue, their waves sending hundreds of dazzling lights across the beach and water. In the distance, the familiar shape of the island was beginning to darken into a silhouette against the evening sky. And then he realized he had known all along where she was._

_The island's beach was one of the best places to watch the sunset; it had also been one of Sora and Kairi's favorite childhood rendezvouses. _

_"Hey," Sora said softly. He approached Kairi's figure. She sat on the beach, chin resting on her knees. He was glad to see her look up at him, though her expression remained unresponsive save a weak smile; he took it positively and sat down next to her. The clouds concealing the setting sun had shifted to a crimson color, and above them the sky had deepened to a dark amethyst. _

_"I, uh,…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read it; it was none of my business," he acknowledged quietly._

_After several moments' silence, he continued. "I'm not holding that against you, Kairi."_

_Still no answer. _

_"If anything, I'm even sorrier that..." he fumbled for words, "that you felt like that for so long, and I wasn't there for you. I could have done more for you; I didn't mean to leave you like that…I should have been there…" He trailed off, but meant every word he said. He hoped she could tell by the way he said it; but the right words always seemed to elude him when he needed them most._

_"It wasn't your fault," came the reply. "I never blamed you. It was just the way things happened. I just wish it had been different. A…a year can seem like forever." _

_"I know what you mean," Sora concurred, casting a glance at Kairi. Her hair hid her face, but stirred slightly in the breeze, revealing glimpses of her face. Still, it was impossible to see what she was thinking._

_"A _year_," she repeated in a whisper. "I don't know if you know this, but I was so…afraid. Afraid I would forget everything, and it we wouldn't matter anymore; nothing would matter. And then I couldn't remember, no matter how hard I tried. Each day was harder than the last. Before I knew what had happened, I even forgot your name. I'm…so sorry. I was so afraid, I…I was afraid of losing _you--_" She broke off abruptly, and Sora didn't have to see her face to see her tears. For a moment he hesitated. Then he gently slipped a hand around her waist, pulling her into his arms. She leaned her head into the comfort and security of his chest, delicate frame trembling with sobs. Above them, a solitary star glittered in the dark blue sky._

_"I'm here now." _


End file.
